BITB Chapter 09

 

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Disclaimer: I don’t own True Blood or the Southern Vampire Mysteries. Those rights to belong to Charlaine Harris, Alan Ball and HBO. I am in no way affiliated with them, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. I simply like to play with the Viking!

A/N: I only own my OC’s and their antics.

~~~

Chapter 9

I woke to a time still hovering between night and day. I must have only slept twenty or thirty minutes! Ugh! I thought the sun would have risen completely by the time I awakened, but my dream was that intense and it must have roused me at once after I fell asleep in it, cradled in Eric’s arms. Did he say it was his dream? What the fuck was that about? I rolled over to one side of the bed and climbed out, making my way to the dark bathroom. I turned on the light to shield my eyes from the sudden brightness. Once they adjusted, I looked around the very spacious room. There was a double vanity complete with everything one could possibly need away from home, beginning with exfoliating sponges all the way to nose clippers.

There was also a list of services engraved in a tile attached to the wall over a telephone between the mirrors comprised of numbers to call for in-room spa services and the pampering provided. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find the drawer full of high-end makeup selections.

The walls were a rich, golden color with white tile flecked with golden accents lining the lower half of the walls and the floor. A Jacuzzi, large enough for several people, sat in one corner of the room. It had an expandable shower nozzle attached just in case you soaked in bubbles and didn’t feel like walking the few feet over to shower for rinsing off! I made a mental note to take a nice, long, luxuriating bath before we checked out. The overall warmth of the room was quite relaxing itself.

I wondered briefly what time Maggie would be returning this morning, but then my attention was diverted when the separate shower really tore my interest. It had an overhead rain shower, similar to the one in my own bathroom at home, but it was much larger, had a bench for shaving your legs (or other things…), and there had to be at least half a dozen knobs and nozzles. Along the built-in shelves were various complimentary toiletries. My mind wandered to thoughts of all the things Eric and I could do in this shower given that it was so much larger than mine, and then I drifted right back to the one we had shared previously. I closed my eyes and shook my head slightly, trying to clear it. Just because you realized you’re in love with HIM doesn’t mean you will be showering with him again. He’s not in love with YOU, dumbass! The voice in my head screamed; the voice was right. I knew it.

After I had my revelation earlier on the roof, making the decision to find him didn’t necessarily seem to be the best course of action any longer and was definitely not the most pressing issue. If this Godric guy didn’t want to come here later tonight, then I would just have to get in touch with Russell. I could just drive to Mississippi to meet with him and JP. I questioned whether or not that was a sound idea, but I didn’t have too many options. Octavia didn’t know much more, and Maggie, well, Maggie wasn’t useless, but she didn’t know anything. Godric was a stranger, and I had no idea if he was willing to share anything with me at all. Eric was out of the question for the time being, perhaps forever, and Pam… Well, I simply wasn’t ‘allowed’ to speak to Pam.

I had another passing thought regarding calling Sookie, perhaps in the hope of finding out what Bill might know, but dismissed it just as quickly. After the way that ass wipe had behaved, that was one road I certainly did not want to travel. I sure as fuck had no intention of revealing anything about me to him, so I nixed that plan before really even considering it all the way through. Bill wasn’t very old in vampire terms, and I didn’t know when or if Octavia would find anything more about the Sirens from books. I knew I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to pull off that kind of research.

Pulling myself out of these thoughts, I brushed my teeth and decided to go back to bed. I wasn’t feeling undeniably tired, though I was certain that less than an hour of sleep would not realistically be enough if I had to spend another night awake until dawn, and I was confident that was the way I would be spending my night.

Just as I was returning to the bedroom, I heard my phone sounding off somewhere near the foot of the bed. I rushed to find it in the pocket of my jeans discarded earlier. When I saw the Caller ID, I squealed seeing JP’s picture pop up on the screen.

“Hey, Hussy!” I answered excitedly.

“Hey yourself, Harlot! I got your text. How are you? I miss you!” he exclaimed, equally excited.

“I miss you, too! You have no idea! What are you doing up? Well, don’t you seem to be taking full advantage of every minute with your fling. Are you seriously just going to bed?” I giggled.

“What are you talking about? You know I’ve been sleeping during the day.”

“Exactly, so where were you that you’re just now getting in?”

“Cricket, it’s seven-thirty.”

I glanced at the clock. He was right! Why wasn’t the sun all the way up at seven-thirty in the morning?

“Did I enter a time warp? Why isn’t the sun up yet?”

“Guurl, Eric must be keeping you thoroughly exhausted if you don’t even know whether it’s day or night,” he chuckled.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s seven-thirty at night!”

I looked at the clock more closely, realizing that the pm light was red.

“Holy shit! I just slept for nearly fifteen hours!”

“Like I said, Eric must have a good bit of stamina to make you forget…” he started to say.

“I thought you got my text? I’m with Maggie. Well, not at the moment, but I came to Dallas with her.”

“Oh, right. Why are you guys in Texas? Where’s Eric?”

“I’m not with Eric,” and my voice broke a little at the end after saying his name. Damn it! I swallowed the lump building up my throat.

“Hold on a second, he’s not there with you? The filming was still scheduled to go on for a few days. Wasn’t he released the same as Russell?”

“No. I mean, yes, he was. Everyone left after the shoot was canceled,” my voice was thick, and I wiped the corners of my eyes as I felt the tears forming.

“Is that why you went to Dallas?”

“What? No! It has nothing to do with him.”

“Cricket, I don’t understand. Where is he? What happened?”

“He…left. He-he- told Pam to tell me he didn’t want… I mean, he wasn’t coming back and he doesn’t want me trying to find him. He doesn’t want to see me again. I ne-never saw him again after the night we were…to-together,” I choked out, trying to stifle the sobs desperately fighting their escape.

Still, the waterworks began in earnest. JP quietly took in the news while I searched for some tissues, trying to regain my composure. I found them, wiped my eyes, and then blew my nose.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come home.”

I took a few deep breaths and when I thought I could speak clearly again, I cleared my throat.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t call. I wanted you to have fun with Russell and not coddle me. It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“Why are you there?”

“Oh, Maggie called, and I wanted to get away from the house, so I went to her place in New Orleans.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess. I’m glad you aren’t alone. Are you sure you’re OK?”

“Yeah, sorry about my mini-meltdown. I’m fine. Everything’s fine,” I tried to sound upbeat.

“Bullshit! You don’t sound fine…”

“JP, there’s nothing I can do, so I have to be fine. Seriously, just because I… I mean, just because I like the guy doesn’t mean I can just ignore what he wants.”

“I knew it! You love him!”

Fuck! Of course he figured it out from my hesitation.

“That’s not what I said,” I defended immediately.

“The hell it’s not! ‘Just because I… like the guy’,” he said, mimicking my voice.

“Shut the fuck up! Whatever! What I feel or don’t feel doesn’t matter anyway, OK?”

“So you admit I was right.”

“Fuck off!”

“Back up a minute. He didn’t say goodbye? Not a word? He sent Pam? What a jackass! Jesus, no wonder you’re so upset!”

“I’m a Siren!” I blurted out.

“I know! You were definitely like his Siren! Shit, you were practically everyone’s Siren. You sure as hell drew him in when you sang. We’re still talking about it. Russell said you should come here and visit sometime. He’d love to hear you sing again.”

“That’s sweet, but that’s not what I meant. I’m a Siren, a genuine one! You know, crashing sailors’ ships and all that shit? Causing storms or, well, in my case apparently, stopping the wind, water, and everything else from moving, seducing them, and then somehow basically killing them,” I shuddered while I said those words.

I hoped I was making my point because that was most definitely not what I wanted to do with my voice. God, I hope Godric will see me! Then JP started laughing! That was definitely not the reaction I had expected! I thought he might have questions although he apparently didn’t believe me! Not at all; he could hardly catch his breath, his belly laughing taking it all and he was just that amused! What the fuck is so funny?!

“Oh My God, I miss you!” he managed to get out while still snickering.

“I’m serious, JP,” I stated without a hint of amusement.

“What?”

“I said, I’m fucking serious!”

“Wait! You’re not kidding, are you? A siren? Like a mythological creature? Shut the fuck up,” and he started laughing once again.

“God damn it, Peej! Listen to what I’m saying! I. AM. A. SIREN! No, I’m not fucking kidding, and no, I will not shut the fuck up!”

“That’s ridiculous! Who told you that?”

“Maggie and Octavia.”

“Who the hell is Octavia?”

“She’s their Coven leader. Well, now that I think of it, I don’t know if they really have a coven. She’s Maggie’s mentor and Maggie’s name is actually Amelia. Of course, that part is inconsequential. She can tell you that herself. As for who they really are, you would know all this if you had read the God Damn books!”

“Again with the books,” he sighed.

“Yes, again with the books! Have I been wrong yet?”

Silence awaited me on the other end of the phone. I continued waiting while I walked out to the main room, turning on lights on my way.

“OK, tell me.”

I walked straight to the bar, poured a tall glass of my moonshine, and then proceeded to tell him everything that had happened after he left. The entire conversation with Pam, the time spent with Maggie and Octavia, and I related the entire story regarding the singing on the cliff, the walkway, and then eagerly described the hotel. I even told him what I knew about Godric though I didn’t mention his actual name. Privacy spell or not, Octavia’s words about spies even now kept me freaked out a little bit. The only things I kept to myself were the nightly dreams. I didn’t want him to start analyzing them over the phone. I still would not admit to my epiphany about Eric or the way I was aware of my feelings for him, although I did tell him all I knew about the teenage boy who had discovered me on the roof. I wonder if he’s up there yet. It’s still early. I’ll bet he had to spend some quality family time before they let him do what he wanted, poor kid. Once I finished, we were back to silence as he absorbed everything.

“What the fuck, Crick? I mean, what the fucking fuck?!”

“I know.”

“No, really, what the fuck?”

“I don’t know.”

“So, you’re meeting with this two-thousand-year-old vampire? Alone? Cricket, you don’t even know him,” he whispered, a little fear evident in his voice

“I don’t know. He wasn’t home last night, so Maggie couldn’t ask him. Octavia said he was really nice. She’s known him a long time. Honestly, I don’t even know if he’ll come. He won’t know what I am until he gets here and I tell him, oh, that reminds me! Please don’t say anything or even hint at anything with Russell, not yet. Octavia said she wasn’t sure how other Supernaturals might react. It’s not that I don’t trust him, and I do plan to come there if I can’t meet up with this other guy, but, still. I’d rather you wait, and I’d rather he heard it straight from me. I want to actually watch his reaction rather than having it relayed back to me. I don’t know what this all means yet. He’s not near you, is he? I mean, he’ll be able to hear me if he is,” I thought suddenly, worried that maybe he would already know.

“No. He’s upstairs and I can hear the shower running. I told him I wanted to call you and check in. He’s supposed to meet me down here once he’s finished.”

“OK, good. Just tell him I’m fine and don’t freak out.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. Oh!”

“What? What is it?”

“Is that my little songbird? Hello, my dear, how fare thee this evening?” I heard Russell close by.

“I’m faring just fine, Russell. Are you taking care of my boy?”

“Why, of course! You know I am. Didn’t I tell you not to worry?”

“Just making sure,” I said playfully, “Well, I have to go. You kids behave! I’ll talk to you soon! Love you, Tramp!”

“You too, Strumpet! Don’t let Eric break the springs!” he said, laughing before he hung up.

Great! So we’re going to pretend Eric is with me? Didn’t he remember Eric and Russell were friends? What if he’s spoken to him already?! Ugh! No. He would have told JP if he knew we weren’t together. Maybe. Probably. I sunk into the sofa, taking a long drink. Well, at least he finally believed me, or so it seemed. Either way, he knew everything. I mean, I never said how I felt about Eric, but he obviously knew. He said as much. I only hoped he would keep my secret until I was ready to share it.

I finished my drink and poured another. I checked for any missed calls or texts, but found none. I called Maggie’s number, but it went straight to voicemail. She must still be sleeping. I wondered what time she returned to the hotel. I seriously could not believe I slept the entire day! I left a short message asking her to call me after she awoke, and then decided to call room service. I ordered a large, grilled shrimp Caesar salad and a bottle of red wine. Yeah, I knew white would pair better with my dinner, but I really needed a glass of Merlot.

I took a quick shower and got dressed. I walked back to the main room when I heard the knock. I was still towel drying my hair, so I tossed the towel on to the counter, and reached for the doorknob. Thinking better of my lack of concern, I checked the peephole to find Barry on the other side. I opened the door quickly, stepping back to allow him to wheel the tray inside.

“Hey Barry! I’m surprised to see you up here,” I said, smiling sincerely.

“Hello, I have your dinner,” he said, seeming more comfortable with me than last night. Maybe he realized I wasn’t a vampire now that I had ordered some actual food.

“I can’t wait! I slept all day and I’m starving! Would you mind taking it to the balcony, please?”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. The chefs here make great food. I get to eat in the kitchen, and it always smells so wonderful in there,” he said. He wheeled the cart to the balcony door then carried the covered plate and utensils to a small table I hadn’t noticed last night. He lifted the bottle of wine and the corkscrew, opening it, pouring a small amount into a red wine glass, and then handing it to me.

“Oh, I don’t need to taste it. With the quality of everything here, I’m sure it’s great,” I said with a small laugh.

He nodded, placing the bottle and glass down on the table. He lit the small lights strategically placed in the corners on the balcony. We walked back into the room toward the door. He held out the black guest check cover for me to sign the bill. I reached for my purse.

“Let me grab some cash for your tip.”

“No need, just sign for it. It will be charged to the room. I told you everything’s included in these suites. The wine is, well, that’s on the house.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s not a gratuity added on there, is there?”

“There is a place for it, but really, it’s fine if you don’t want to add anything.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! I can sense that you’re not entirely comfortable up here, still you brought my dinner anyway.”

“OK, if you want, you can just write it on the bill and they’ll add it.”

“I can’t do that. I’m not the one paying.”

“No. really. That’s the way it works.”

“OK. You’re sure? You’ll get the money, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I really appreciate it,” he said, chuckling a little and giving me a smile.

“All right then! Thanks for bringing it up,” I said once I signed the bill and added on a large tip. Hey, if it’s included, he might as well get something out of this, too.

“You’re welcome. Just wheel the tray back out into the hall after you’re finished, or you can call to have it taken away. Either way someone will be up in an hour or so to collect it.”

“Thanks again,” I said.

He nodded again before letting himself out of the room. I locked the door behind him, stepped out onto the balcony, and sat down to enjoy my meal. The fresh air was exactly what I needed in order to relax and take my mind off of everything. I drank the bit of wine he had poured and refilled the glass. It was fantastic! I was definitely going to buy this again once I returned home. I looked at the bottle, noticing it was a ‘97 Château Pétrus 2004 Pomerol. I almost choked on it after I realized it was a seven-hundred-dollar bottle of wine! Holy shit! I may not have been an expert on wines, but I recognized this one. It was probably the most expensive Merlot in the world!

My father had a small, amateur wine collection in a segregated room off of the basement and though I never paid much attention, I remembered him talking repeatedly one day of having bought this particular wine. My mother tried to find it to buy it for him again, but I remember her mentioning the price and that was that! My poor Dad would never be getting another. She just couldn’t see spending an entire paycheck for a single bottle of wine and I agreed. I sure as hell couldn’t afford it! Why in the world would this bottle of wine be ‘on the house?’ Who exactly owed Octavia a favor?

I decided to drink it slowly, savoring every drop. I sincerely doubted I would ever again have this…unless I ordered it tomorrow! That would, of course, depend on if I was chose to stay another night here in the hotel. Maybe Godric would agree to visit with me tonight, and then we’d leave. Then again, even if he did, it could be worth staying one more night, after all, we hadn’t had our massages yet, and Maggie would be so very disappointed. I decided I would be, too.

I removed the dome cover, and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw the six jumbo, tiger shrimp laid out on top of grilled, full romaine leaves. There was a fresh pepper grinder I hadn’t noticed Barry place on the table as well as shaved parmesan cheese covering the lettuce under the shrimp. It appeared that the leaves were tossed in the dressing. I pictured the chef swirling them in a bowl, coating them as I’d seen done on television before placing them on the plate. My mouth watered simply by smelling the food until I dug in. It was the most delicious Caesar salad I had ever had in my life! My imagination flew with thoughts of other choices on the room service menu I had glanced over when choosing something I expected might be a light meal. Slices of fresh bread already topped with butter and herbs lay to the side of the plate and I wasted no time savoring the hot, crispy treats.

Once I finished scarfing down my food and was effectively full, I leaned back into the surprisingly comfortable chair and sipped on the unbelievably expensive wine. I took a few minutes, enjoying the view and to digest, then started clearing the dishes, minus my wine glass, placing them back on the tray. I wheeled the tray to the door, looking out the peephole again. No one was there from all I could see through the tiny peephole, so I slowly opened the door, looking both ways down the hall.

Again I saw no one, so I pushed the cart outside my room, and started to close the door. After taking a moment to rethink the situation, I stepped into the hallway, pushing the cart as far down the hall away from my room and leaving it in front of the room closest to the elevator. If there were, indeed, vampires on this floor, I didn’t want to make it any more obvious that there was a human staying on the floor, too, nor in which room they were staying. I scurried back to my room, entering it quickly just as I heard a door open from down on the other side of the hall.

For whatever reason, that door opening, acknowledging someone else on the floor, made me very nervous while simultaneously creating spine-tingling curiosity. I had to remind my silly, thrill-seeking (and just where had she come from so suddenly?) self that it was the boy or perhaps a family member leaving the room, still I engaged the multiple locks on the door and yet again peered out the peephole. I watched in wonder when I saw the tall, muscular man with whom I’d collided last night at the elevators pass by my room.

He took one or two steps past, and when he was nearly out of sight, he stopped, stepped back in front of my door, and then stared. Forgetting for the moment that he couldn’t hear inside, I covered my mouth and held my breath. I had no reason being fearful of this man, yet it made me dreadfully uncomfortable the way he was looking between the door and the keypad on the outside. It seemed as if he was attempting to discover if anyone was inside. He tilted his head as if making an effort to listen. I took for granted he heard nothing, but then he started taking a step forward! Did he just smell my door? I thought he might look in the peephole directly at me while he moved slightly closer still.

However, his attention was quickly diverted by someone talking to him and he turned his head to the left, the direction in which he had started out, and replied to the speaker. Maggie was right! I couldn’t hear a word he was saying! There was a quiet muffled tone, although I knew he was not speaking quietly due to his reactions and his gestures toward whomever it was that was having the conversation with him. I watched him nod his head in the direction of my door and shake it in the negative while I heard another muffled voice come closer. Before his companion could reach him and look in the direction of my spying eyes again, I retreated from the door to escape into another, more private area of my suite. I didn’t care to see who it was that had joined him, hoping they, too, decided to not take any special interest in my room.

Once I heard the muffled voices pass, I exhaled the breath I had been holding through the entire encounter, if you could even call it that, and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth again. The salad dressing had a good bit of garlic in it and I assumed the boy, if he was there tonight, would prefer not to speak to someone with rancid garlic breath, not that I would be getting that close, but still.

After that and my other bathroom needs were met, including brushing out my hair, I returned to the balcony, much calmer, and then tried to call Maggie again. The result was the same. I left another message. I considered going down to her room on the floor below, but ultimately decided that I didn’t want to walk around too much all on my own. It was ridiculous, really. The man had been genuinely nice to me on the elevator, and there was no reason for fear other than for the way he had been studying my room. When he nodded toward my door, it told me that; one, he had been trying to determine whether or not someone was in here and; two, he decided no one was after he affirmed it to his companion with a shake of his head.

I finished my wine and realized that half the bottle remained. Yay me! I carried my glass and the bottle to the kitchen area. I placed the bottle on the counter and washed out the glass, setting it next to the bottle. I grabbed my iPod, keycard, elevator key (better safe than sorry), and phone, stuffing everything into my pockets. I went into the bedroom and took out a sweatshirt, pulling it over the t-shirt I wore with a pair of worn jeans. I pulled on my chucks and left the room. I stood quietly outside the door before closing it, making sure I heard no one else in the hall, heading to the roof.

~~~

A couple of minutes later found me alone on the roof, sitting in one of the chairs and trying to figure out how to ignite one of the fire pits. My earbuds were planted in my ears when I found the ‘on’ switch to the pit and adjusted the flames to a reasonable height. I looked around to confirm I was still alone and turned on my iPod. Maybe the boy wasn’t coming after all. I didn’t plan on staying up there as late as I had the night before, but it was only a little after ten, so maybe he would be come up later just as he had last night.

I hit shuffle on the little music player, waiting to see what Fate had to tell me this time. A smile spread across my face once I saw the name Alanis pop on the screen. Her music laid it out and told it like it was at any given moment, and I was looking forward to whatever song would play. She was the perfect singer/songwriter for the confused, lonely, or just plain pissed-off listener. I wasn’t sure which one I was at the time, but I was sure I would know in just a moment after the lyrics began.

I’ll give you countless amounts of outright

Acceptance if you want it

I will give you encouragement to choose

The path that you want if you need it

Why couldn’t he see that I did accept everything about him? Then again, maybe he did, and he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t believe me. Maybe that was why he left.

You can speak of anger and doubts

Your fears and freak outs and I’ll hold it

You can share your so called shame filled accounts

Of times in your life and I won’t judge it

And there are no strings attached to it

I knew what he was. I knew or suspected many of the things he had done in his long life. I was sure there were millions of things about him that I may never really understand, but I wasn’t afraid of him nor his past. In fact, I wanted to learn all there was to learn of him.

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give

You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have

I give you thanks for receiving, it’s my privilege

And you owe me nothing in return

I gave what I could when I was with him. I shared myself with him in more ways than one. I asked for nothing in the days we knew one another. I only wanted our time together.

You can ask for space for yourself

And only yourself and I’ll grant it

You can ask for freedom as well

Or time to travel and you’ll have it

I let the words spill out easily while I sang to him. As always, my eyes were closed, and I could so easily picture him there in my mind. I wondered if my Dream-Eric did the real Eric any justice. The dreams were both always so clear, and so real.

You can ask to live by yourself

Or love someone else and I’ll support it

You can ask for anything you want

Anything at all and I’ll understand it

And there are no strings attached to it

My chest tightened, thinking about him loving someone else, but I knew I would accept that, if only for him; that is, even if I were to someday learn of it. That was the funny thing, I had once believed Eric was meant for another. Even after that first dream I had shared with JP, I found myself feeling guilty. That was before I realized how I felt. I hadn’t been in love with him then. Now, I wanted him for me only.

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give

You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have

I give you thanks for receiving, it’s my privilege

And you owe me nothing in return

I knew that this song Fate was giving me was for him to hear. I wished, not for the first time, of course, that he was there. He should know these things! He hadn’t needed to have left in that way. I wouldn’t take anything he wasn’t willing to give freely. That’s what love is. The tears tracked down my face as easily as the words flowed.

I bet you’re wondering when

The next payback shoe will eventually drop

I bet you’re wondering when my conditional police

Will force you to cough up

I wanted him to want me, but I knew he didn’t. I wanted him to love me, too, but I wouldn’t hold it against him that he didn’t. My love was unconditional, even if I still wanted to kick his ass!

I bet you’re wondering how far

You have now danced your way back into debt

This is the only kind of love, as I understand it

That there really is

It was the only kind of love I knew how to give. I gave with my whole heart, and that was why I was so certain I was always left broken. I was angry and I was hurt, but I loved him. What else was left for me to do but accept it and move on?

You can express your deepest of truths

Even if it means I’ll lose you and I’ll hear it

You can fall into the abyss

On your way to your bliss, I’ll empathize with

If he still was meant for Sookie, if he truly wanted her, I would help him though it might kill me. I would help them both realize, as I had, that it was easy to hide feelings. Only in my wildest fantasies did I believe it could ever be me who had been meant to be his. Of course, in the end, I had been right. He wasn’t mine.

You can say that you’ll have to skip town

To chase your passion and I’ll hear it

You can even hit rock bottom

Have a mid-life crisis and I’ll hold it

And there are no strings attached to it

Here was the acceptance he needed the night he had chosen the song that had allowed me to see the real Eric. It would take a long time to get over him now, that I knew. I suddenly became conscious of the fact that I had cried through the entire song. It only made me cry all the harder and sing even louder.

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give

You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have

I give you thanks for receiving, it’s my privilege

And you owe me nothing in return

Once the song ended, I was more upset than ever. I opened my eyes, staring at the stars while hot tears continued raining down my face.

“You still should have said goodbye before you skipped town, you stupid jackass! You could have talked to me! You could have said anything at all! I’m not an idiot! I know I’m not good enough! You didn’t even give me a chance! You didn’t give us a chance! What the fuck? Were you that afraid? Damn it, Eric! Why?! Why?!”

With the internal monologue I had while I sang, I hadn’t realized that I started yelling out loud at the night sky. In fact, I was screaming at the top of my voice at that! It was as if I screamed it loudly enough, he might hear me, wherever he was. I didn’t realize any of it; that is, until I felt someone squeeze gently my shoulder.

I damn near jumped out of my skin while at the same time I jumped out of my chair! I turned in a defensive stance as if I could really fight anyone! Face hot and blotchy, nose stuffed and running, anger fighting against the tears in my eyes, I faced down the owner of the hand. I found myself looking into the gentle eyes of my troubled boy. He held up both hands, palms out, in a gesture indicating he meant no harm, but held his ground. My lip trembled slightly at the genuinely concerned look upon his face. He was worried about me. I almost fell apart due to the sincerity in his expression. What made me break down all over again were his words.

“Who’s Eric?”

~~~

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Aurelia Gliwiski as Chelsea ‘Cricket’ Kerrigan

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Alexander Skarsgård as Eric Northman

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~~~

Music Credits –

Alanis Morissette – “You Owe Me Nothing in Return”

A/N: Thank you, MsBuffy, for your continuous time and effort you put forth in this story! Thank you to American Android for the fabulous banner!

Thank you for reading!

Please leave a review!

38 Responses to BITB Chapter 09

  1. you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? making me all excited and giddy 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. mom2goalies says:

    Oh god, I both love and hate the way you end chapters!!!!
    Glad she was finally able to talk to PJ, but I’m getting concerned about Maggie…
    Hope next update comes real soon.

    Liked by 2 people

    • kinnik7104 says:

      LOL In that case, I’m both sorry and yet not sorry at all. 😉
      She and Peej definitely needed to get in touch and catch up if only briefly. I’m glad to hear you are concerned that another day has gone by with no word from Maggie…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mindyb781 says:

    Oh my, Wow! What an ending. That is a favorite song of mine and is perfect for this moment . I feel like Cricket , I really want to know why the hell Eric left leaving her with nothing . All those emotions Cricket is feeling were really described well in this chapter . Godric finding her gives me hope. I’m really hoping he can help her and lead to Eric .

    Liked by 2 people

    • msbuffy says:

      Godric found her? Did I miss something?

      Liked by 2 people

    • kinnik7104 says:

      Thank you. I’m glad it worked with her emotions. Every time she thinks she’s in control, thoughts of him spin her out of control again. I would feel the same way.
      I love that song, too. In fact, I love all the songs that Fate gives to Cricket just as she needs them. 🙂
      Like MsBuffy, I’m a bit confused, I didn’t see Godric.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Deborah Rose says:

    Great chapter, I love this story, Is the boy Godric?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mindyb781 says:

    My bad I’m jumping. It wasn’t revealed in words. Last chapter he said he had to get back before dawn, then he raced away and she didn’t see him. The comment he made in the last chapter . His clothing described made me think of Godric .

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mindyb781 says:

    Yes, but that is a powerful song. I don’t want her to get over Eric or those emotions. A part of me is still hoping he will appear. Non-dream Eric that is. But I really think her expressing her emotions is important .

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dammit!! *childishly kicks and punches the desk* Too much information about her supper, and not enough interaction with Godric! If indeed that’s who the boy is… And you like fudging with us on occasion, so maybe it’s not.

    And now I can’t believe I’m actually pouting about this…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh I’m back… I had two very awful weeks…My hubby was involved in a very bad car accident thank goodness all is well now!
    Great chapters !
    I guess that boy is Godric.right!?
    More please…
    Jackie69

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Updates 12-16-15 | Fanfiction Minions

  10. jc52185 says:

    Finally have time to get all caught up! Can’t wait to do so!

    Liked by 1 person

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